Recurrence

At 24 years old I have been diagnosed with breast cancer, not once, not twice, but literally THREE times. This time It's a local recurrence, something that despite my spectacularly clear pathology report post mastectomy snuck by and grew to the point where I could just barely feel it. I'm also guessing that this is the universe's way of telling me although I just barely avoided radiation in the spring that ultimately I was meant to have it.

Cosmetically this makes me really sad because after a few revisions I was finally really happy with my reconstruction results, and now at least on one side I'm about to inflict some serious damage. Luckily I've seen the work my surgeons are capable of and trust that they will make everything ok again.

Tomorrow I go in to remove the remainder of the tumor, as well as check one or two lymph nodes in the area and confirm that they are clear. Then in 2-3 weeks I will begin radiation and have six weeks of that treatment. I worry about my skin, but I'm also told that because I'm so young I should bounce back relatively quick.

I'm still waiting on the final pathology report from the surgical biopsy but as long as the type of cancer is the same as before I wont need any more chemo. I will however be going off the tamoxifen I've been taking (hormone blocker) since it clearly doesn't help me, and will likely have to get these shots that induce menopause for the next five years.

Some people have been asking me.. does this usually happen? why did this happen? and I don't really know what to say other then, yes it does happen, and unfortunately although there was only a 2% chance... my body is determined to prove to the medical world that when they think all is ok - they need to think again.

People also think because you find it early that it means its a quick fix- but I'm proof that although finding it early is better then finding it late, it doesn't mean its a quick fix. A lot of things you hear about breast cancer, especially because it is now October is based on older women. At 23 and 24 years old there is absolutely no research that exists on statistics of recurrence or even survival. This is important to recognize because not only are the numbers of diagnosis going up - but the ages are going down.

All three times I went to my doctor and said something was wrong they said not to worry and that there was no chance of me a 23/24 year old with no family history having breast cancer - and then again after the treatment I had the chance of recurrence was so low. Well all three times they were wrong and I was right (unfortunately) and all I can take away from this is although part of my body is trying to kill me, another part of me - my intuition and gut - are fighting to keep me alive.

I'm not religious, nor do I really believe in a "God". I especially don't believe that everything happens for a reason. I do however believe that if we have awareness of the world around us, and our selves we can in fact change the course of our own lives.

This October I ask my friends to not just recognize breast cancer awareness month but to recognize their own health and do self check exams- and if your having pain or feel anything to get it check with an ultrasound. Doctors would rather push a young woman away then to accept that younger and younger we are getting diagnosed, but if you don't fight for your health - no one else will.