HALF WAY THERE! ..with chemo anyway :)

So tomorrow morning I go in for my LAST AC treatment! I can't get excited quite yet because I then have 4 more treatments with a drug called Taxol. I'm scared shitless of the possible reactions I could have to Taxol, but for now I'm celebrating and not thinking about that until two weeks from now.

My last Adria means a couple of great things- because this is the WORST chemo drug out there, and I consider myself incredibly lucky to have only needed 4 of them, and to have handled them as well as I have. It has not been a party but the first treatment aside its been far better then I read about online. Also my blood counts are fucking warriors because they've been the same as they were before treatment.. and actually last time they were BETTER! (this rarely happens) but back to the good things:

- less nausea (still some but not nearly as much)

- no more heart torture (AC can be really damaging to your heart-but I'm young so all good so far, but I CAN feel its effect. I can also intuitively feel tumors which science tells me is "impossible")

- no more NEED for my picc line, which I will still keep to avoid needles as long as possible :) (Taxol does not pose the same risk to my veins/tissue as Adria)

The not so great news is that Taxol will bring out a whole bag of tricks I have not experienced yet! but again not going to go there just yet...

Crazy Update: I still have hair! hahaha it is now, after my third treatment finally falling out so I am glad I shaved my head. However the fact that it held on for 6 weeks instead of 3 weeks makes me regain some hope (although probably false) that I may not totally lose my eyebrows/lashes. *fingers crossed*

..and I leave you with my favorite group from the sing off.. that SHOULD have won :) When I feel stuck in a chemo-rut this song makes me feel better :p

ALMOST HALF WAY!

I'm looking forward to the day when I no longer worry about how cancer is EFFECTING my life and instead CELEBRATE how it changed me for the better, the day I can say I'm a SURVIVOR.

ONLY one AC treatment left! SO EXCITED to not have the extreme nausea with TAXOL. However, it does have some rather scary side effects of its own.

- joint pain

- muscle pain

- 3 hours of infusion ( because there's a likely chance anyone will have a pretty severe allergic reaction to it )-> you actually used to have to be admitted for 24 hours after but they've got it down pretty good now :)

- Nail destruction... from lifting to falling off completely. Think like.. when you break you toe or finger and the nail bruises and falls off its that process but all over :/ ick

- All the stubble/eyebrows/lashes that have so far been holding on for dear life will probably abandon me :( but that is not for certain.

On another note to those ladies out there who may be just starting or looking at chemo in their future, it's not as bad as you imagine. The nausea they talk about is that knot in your throat and an uneasy tummy - kind of like a bad hangover that lasts 4 days. (with AC) and you will get tired and fatigue, but if you make sure you eat healthy things in little amounts through out the day this really helps, and currently I only get hit maybe twice in two weeks with that "i got hit by a truck fatigue" which usually resolves itself with a 3-4 hour nap :)

Sad to say my wonderful chemo nurse got another job offer, so I now have a new equally wonderful chemo nurse who I like very much. She also offered me ice chips this time! There are studies that if you chew on ice chips during infusion you can reduce the chance of mouth sores. (with the Adria) I had never been offered this before but i'm usually drinking ice water so I believe this really helps because I haven't encountered mouth sores! Also the Alo drinks you can get at Jewel or Trader Joe's are something I will never stop raving about.

Last night was rough but we didn't hit horrible traffic and I didn't sleep the best but I do feel better this morning :) better... not great or even good, I'd say OK. Which is not bad! I can't wait until the day I cant feel these tumors at all- Then I'll know he Chemo will have WON and so will I :D

IMPORTANT FACTS:

I inquired yesterday as to if there were any other young people-as young as me that my WONDERFUL oncologist was treating and was SHOCKED by her answer.......

- 2 more women diagnosed at 24 (early stages like me) -getting chemo

- 1 woman diagnosed at 23 Stage 0 DCIS (this means it is non invasive) - no chemo needed but she elected to have a Bilateral Mastectomy anyway. I say good for her!

- 1 woman DIAGNOSED at 22yrs old- Stage 4 Which means that it had already spread to other areas of her body AT 22! That was years ago and she's now in her 30's but her treatment will possibly never end.

***There are three things about breast cancer that TRULY THREATEN YOUR LIFE.

1. It doesn't discriminate against age any longer 1 in 8 women WILL get breast cancer

2. 85% of diagnoses is in woman who do not have family history- So you may not expect it, So look twice as hard.

3. If you have a genetic mutation- you need to act aggressively even if you don't yet have cancer, And truly the only way this type of cancer CAN - NOT WILL BUT CAN kill you is if it has spread outside of the breast.

Which is why early detection BY YOU as a young woman WILL SAVE your life. If you are under the standard age for MAMMOGRAMS you are your only advocate - learn your body- and you'll know when something isn't right. If you have a family history fight for the right to get mammograms NOW even if you're in your 20's. If insurance turns you down reach out to foundations/organizations that will help you get them. If you catch it at Stage 0 you avoid the need for chemo and extensive surgery... unless you chose to fight aggressively which many do even with know diagnoses.

I must be SUPERHUMAN because my hair grows really fast?

Like suuper fast hair growth... I dont understand how this happened? ;)

The Funny Thing About Chemo

So I'm super SUPER excited because a family friend is coming in from FLORIDA to bring me to Chemo #3 Monday! But now that I'm 1/4 of the way through this Chemo Journey I can't help but be a little pissed about a few things (small things) which are laughable really.

1. I still although my head is covered in stubble HAVE to shave my legs... WTF can't a girl catch a break?! I'm hoping this changes after chemo number 3....

2. Chemo is literally oozing out of my pores so my skin is HORRIBLE... I am however glad that my body can push out the toxicity so fast :) I just hope I'm not left with scars on my face.

3. All the water I drink becomes water weight... In order to feel better (hydrate) I have to inflate myself :/

4. Any juice with ginger is GAGFUL and does NOT help your stomach.. it makes it worse. Gingerale however is a good thing :)

As much as these things suck they're not that bad... its just a little ridiculous. Some good things that have surprised me:

1. still have my eyebrows! yeah!

2. and eyelashes! I've only lost a total of 2 so far.. and I know this because they end up poking me in the eye- not fun.

3. I dont have to shave my armpits! sweet :)

4. I still have most of my stubble and it feels pretty sweet haha....

5. The whole second week I barely need any meds.. and the week of chemo I'm not as bad as I've read some people have it.. the first treatment was really the worst

6. I haven't had any trouble sleeping! some people do.. so I'm incredibly grateful for the ability to sleep..

7. I dont know when mouth sores start.. but I think Alo drinks have saved my mouth so far.. highly recommend them!

Celebrate the Small Things

So now that i'm feeling less sick and mostly tired its easy for moments of anxiety to creep in when thinking off all the surgeries I have ahead of me and how my life and image will be dramatically changed forever in the hopes for a cancer free future. I feel that its important to look at the simple things everyday that make me smile, laugh, and grateful.

- pirates booty to calm my stomach
- gingerale to curve the sickness
- tencel scarves that are ideal for a bald head :)
- my hair fighting to grow dispite my already two rounds of chemo, and the full head of fluff somehow still intact and growing!
- jolly ranchers to drown out the taste of saline when flushing my picc every night
- some pretty great friends who do their best to keep me losing my cool
- a mom who works 12 hours everyday and still comes home and makes me something to eat
- the best dog in the world who understands how im feeling without words and is always there to give kisses and make me laugh

2 Down 6 To Go!

So my second AC is over with and I only have 2 more of these icky treatments! I got my picc put in before this one so I didnt get a rash and it went far more smoothly :)

That being said having the Picc put in was one of the grossest things ive experienced.. having a tube shoved through your arm to your heart feels exactly what it sounds like. Uncomfortable! However its nice because I dont need to get stuck by anymore needles and they can take my blood through it as well! My wonderful friend Kat came to hang out with me and even wore one of my wigs! AND she got me home before I started feeling sick! SCORE!

Its now day 4 and I feel pretty crappy as expected, but I can feel this nasty drug attacking the tumors and they hurt less which means they're getting smaller!

Supposidly my last 4 treatments although they will take 6hours will not make me as nausious which I'm looking forward to :)

Also being bald is pretty much no big woop.. My wig fooled both my brother and my aunt so it certainly helps to have it so I can look like myself when I want to. I'm looking forward to next week when I can feel less icky and our family friend is flying in from FL to hang out with me and bring me to my third chemo :) k time lets fastforward now >>>>>